I’m going to do something very different with this post and actually offer some advice. Not useful advice, mind you, but advice nonetheless.
This loser’s doing everything wrong—I bet he’s got a whole flash card worth of good photos (Seoul, South Korea)
Why crappy pictures you ask? Well, thousands of websites offer advice on taking good pictures, but when you’ve been traveling for a while, you realize that most people aren’t trying to take good pictures. Instead, they seem to be trying their hardest to avoid getting a single adequate shot; and yet, no one is helping those people. That changes now—follow these five tips and say goodbye to good photos forever:
I. Always Use A Flash
Many people use a flash in low-light situations when photographing a subject near them, but if that’s the only time you use it, you are not going to get many crappy pictures. You want to use a flash any time you are not standing in direct sunlight.
Say you’re in Kowloon, taking pictures of the skyline on Hong Kong Island across the water during the nightly Symphony of Lights. Some people will tell you that your flash won’t actually reach the other side or that, as the name “Symphony of Lights” might suggest, the buildings are already lit up, but who cares? Flash away. Trust me, nothing looks more professional than using the ridiculously expensive DSLR and the pro-level lens some salesperson talked you into as a glorified strobe light.
See how using the flash ensured very little of the skyline (but a lot of back sweat) is visible?
Now see what can happen if you don’t use a flash in this situation? (Hong Kong, China)
And, if you find yourself on an observation deck enclosed in glass, your flash becomes doubly important. Of course the flash won’t reach the city below, but it will reflect off the glass giving you a lovely picture of a flash of light. More importantly, it will also put that same flash of light in every single picture every other person took at that moment. Of course they will just take another one, but if you look at your LCD screen unhappily and then TAKE THE EXACT SAME PICTURE AGAIN, you can be sure that everyone will go home with numerous images almost as crappy as your own.
II. Always face the sun
Sometimes photographing into the sun results in beautiful pictures, but don’t let that stop you; in general, this is one of the easiest ways to ensure your pictures are crap. When you shoot into the sun, the sky will become white and the foreground black, making nothing visible.
This was never going to be a good picture, but just to be safe I shot into the sun anyway (Fukuoka, Japan)
As a result, we have an important exception to rule #1: one of the few times you don’t want to use a flash is when taking pictures of something, especially people, with the sun behind them. In such a case, the flash will actually light up the faces, making them visible and possibly turning your crappy picture into a good one.
Another situation to look out for is the sunset. Sunsets are a special case when shooting into the sun could possibly result in a good picture, but if you use your flash (unless photographing something in the foreground—VERY IMPORTANT!) and hand hold your camera, you should be fine.
III. Never hold the camera vertically
Holding your camera vertically instead of horizontally can give you a different perspective and can often even help you fill the frame with your subjects, both of which could lead to a good picture. I’m sure there are times when a vertical perspective could result in a crappy photo, but it’s too risky. Just don’t do it.
A vertical perspective helps, but rule #5 and someone’s flash save it from being any good (Xi’an, China)
IV. Watch others and take the same pictures
Uniqueness is another possible attribute of good images, so you want to avoid taking any photos from different angles or perspectives. When you arrive at a new location, take a few minutes to see what the tour groups are doing. As long as they are following the other rules on this list, you should get in line behind them and take the exact same picture they do. In fact, have one of them take the picture for you; that way you can put your smiling face front and center. Don’t forget the peace sign!
V. Always leave the camera on Auto Mode
This is a big one. Using your camera’s manual controls could possibly lead to creativity and creativity is another hallmark of a good photo. Just be careful under ideal conditions—at times when the light is perfect—the auto mode can lead to excellent pictures. If this happens to you, don’t panic. Just hit delete and try to incorporate one or more of my other rules.
Should you find yourself in a situation where none of those rules are applicable and you keep getting one nice picture after another, try putting something in the foreground to draw the attention of the auto focus. If you still end up with a good picture, never fear—I saved my best advice for last: leave the lens cap on. Or if you use a point and shoot, just use your finger to cover a portion of the lens.
With the auto-mode focusing on the arm in the foreground, the band remains blurry (The Rock Tigers @ Club FF in Seoul, South Korea)
All sarcasm aside, some photos actually are better off being as blurry as possible (Yamakasa Festival in Fukuoka, Japan)
If you follow these five simple tips, you too can ensure that all of your friends and relatives find themselves in the awkward situation of having to heap praise on pictures most blind two year olds could take.
If you enjoyed this post and would like more of my incredibly useful (and perhaps a little sarcastic) advice, check out 5 Easy Ways to Spot a Scam or 6 Steps to Becoming a True Backpacker.
Thanks for the advice. I’m guilty of doing many of these things. Did you notice how blurry my picture was of that Genuine Fake Watches sign? Did I inspire you? Ha!
Can I add that you should always center your subject(s)? Like the guy who centered me and then put a torii directly on top of my head so it looked like I had a torii-tiara.
Of course! I can’t believe I forgot the simplest tip of all. I feel like I failed all three of my readers. Now I have to live the rest of my life knowing that at any given time, somewhere someone might be taking a beautiful picture that I could have easily helped prevent.
And making it look like something is growing out of a person’s head is actually an important tip as well, but it’s a somewhat more advanced technique. It would have been too complicated for a post aimed at beginners.That’s even more true for the classic Japanese “torii-tiara” technique. Sounds like you’re really fitting in over there.
I really enjoyed reading this article; it gave me a couple of really nice chuckles. Next time I want to make a really bad photo, I’ll make sure to use one of these tricks! 😉
Ha, this is hilarious! You’re right, there are so many blogs out there teaching how to do something right, and it ends up sounding a bit dry after a while. It’s refreshing to see some humour 🙂
I found your blog very randomly, but I like it. I’m a Vancouver photographer and web designer and I’m also really into travel, so I’m sure I’ll be coming back to your site again. You now have 4 readers 😛
No no, he’s got five! I LOVE your humour. OMG I think I’m a fan (how embarrassing).
Too be honest I have never been a good photographer so these advice is good for me. I think you have spelled out quite nicely how to take crappy pictures. Love the humour.
I always use a flash when it’s dark. For me it sounds pretty obvious- it’s dark, turn your light on :-)! I took the same shot of Hong Kong actually I though you copied it from my website hihi. Mine is same same 🙂 I saw the Terracotta Warriors in Xi’an as well and took some nice shots. I also worked in China and I loved Xi’an!
After you wrote that, I naturally had to check; you’re right, you do have pretty much the same picture. Except you took yours in black and white.
I checked out your pictures of the Terracotta Warriors too. They are much better than mine. I didn’t get a single good shot there, since it was too dark and I was using a simple point and shoot back then. I really liked Xian, too. In fact, most of my favorite areas in China were Xian and further to the west, mostly because of the food. I prefer the Muslim food in China to other Chinese food.
This made me smile and read again to check if I’m lost. Ehehe.
Thanks, but unfortunately, I’m not able to make much of a difference–I still see so many nice pictures on the internet…
Priceless.
I think really fantastic pictures cut people off right at the knees, also who needs their whole head in a shot. We know what our family’s heads look like.
Thank you. This is great advice and something I overlooked: including whole people in your shots will often lead to a good photo, but this can easily be avoided by chopping off body parts. For best results, start with the head.
One thing I’ve learned is to breath out when taking the pic. That appears to stop the blurs (still get a few though on nasty uneven ground). Friend told me to try it and glad I listened.
You’re right, that does help. Also bracing your elbows against your body to help support the camera. Ideally though, I prefer to use a tripod to ensure the photo comes out sharp. But I hate carrying one around with me.
LOL, so true! You can take the crappiest photo ever when looking at Chinese and take exactly the same photos they take 🙂
Plus you can always be in the photos they take, since so many of them ask to take a photo with us (or don’t ask and just do it anyway).
Well, I’m sure glad that picture of Japanese asses is blurry. It’s pretty funny watching people take bad pictures. The flash always kills me, especially at a concert or a sports venue. It cracks me when I see flash cameras going off in an arena or a stadium.
I actually have a few unblurry ass pictures, too, but those are only for me….
Hahaha this is a hilarious post. You should especially always use your flash to make your food Instagrams look extra-unappetizing so nobody has food envy (even better when combined the the hashtag #foodporn).
Good call. I could do a whole post on crappy food photos, both online and in restaurants. I’ve seen so many places here in Berlin that have the most unappetizing photos of their food on their signs or in their menus…and then they wonder why they have no customers. That said, for every weird disgusting porn fetish out there, there’s at least a few guys who are into it; maybe it’s the same with the food porn thing and those unappetizing pictures actually make certain people’s mouths water.
Lol, love those advices, always follow all of them, but my favourite is always keep the camera on auto mode! 🙂
As you can see, I’ve also followed my own advice on many occasions, unfortunately.
Great advice! I used to do all of these, you can imagine what my photos used to look like. 🙂 But with time I have improved.
Yes, I can imagine what they might have looked like, because I used to do all of those things myself, plus a bunch more that didn’t make it into this post. I’m glad your photos have improved. Mine are getting better, too, but slowly.
hahaha I do the mistakes, even no. 1. no problem, I have at least one good photo among the bads. and still make some friends jealous coz I travelled lol..
Yeah, that’s the great thing about digital cameras–no matter how many times you screw up and get bad photos, you can just keep shooting until you get a good one.
Great tips or un-tips should I say?
I think the built in screen on cameras now is a major advancement, often you can tell what you’ve done wrong and correct it immediately. How I remember the days of film cameras and being so disappointed once I’ve paid a fortune for developing.
I started photographing on a film camera too. You’re right, it definitely made learning from your mistakes expensive. I took photography 3 times in high school, just so I could have access to cheap film and a dark room.