I’ve always felt that the greatest thing the invention of the automobile has done for us is eliminate the need to sit on top of a wild animal and try to get it to do what we want. I do realize that many people actually enjoy riding horses or other animals, but I also realize that not everyone is sane. Apparently, there are even people who run just for fun.
A camel tired out from a long day of carrying overweight tourists
When I was in Jaisalmer in the Indian state of Rajasthan, I decided to spend a night in the desert, which is something I try to do whenever I get the chance. Unfortunately in Jaisalmer, that requires signing up for a tour that involves riding a camel.
During the price negotiations, I managed to get a price that was much lower than anyone else’s because I bargained away my camel ride and my tent, two things I didn’t want anyway. My plan worked at first—once we got to the desert I did not have a camel, but when the camel drivers noticed this they immediately scrambled to find me one.
Of course I tried to explain that I didn’t want or need or pay for a camel and was perfectly happy to walk alongside the others, safely on my own two feet. They clearly couldn’t imagine that anyone wouldn’t want to sit on top of a smelly animal intent on making every step as agonizingly painful as possible, so they scraped the bottom of the camel barrel to find me a ride.
That barrel was empty, however, so they reached into the adjacent barrel of camels completely unsuited for riding and destined for a future as dog food and glue. My group was mostly women and the drivers insisted I ride this particular camel because it was “dangerous for woman.”
A few of the less demonic camels, none of which were offered to me
So I got on the camel and it took about two ass-numbing steps for me to realize that this would be the most uncomfortable few hours of my life. Also, I would never be able to sit again. Luckily the camel saved me from that fate by going absolutely insane.
It started belting out a loud honking noise that was so filled with agony you would think I was torturing the thing to death. I suppose maybe it felt I was, although who was torturing whom was definitely a matter of perspective. Along with the bellowing, it started impersonating a bull at a rodeo, jumping and bucking and clearly trying to remove me from its back.
I was only too happy to oblige and jumped off voluntarily the first chance I got. Of course the camel driver came up immediately and told me I should try again; it was a young camel after all and just a little headstrong. I didn’t care what he said though; I’m smart enough to know that, kind of like invading a country that doesn’t want you there, sitting on an animal that doesn’t want to be sat on will also end in a long, drawn out battle that you will eventually lose.
After a lot of arguing, I convinced him to try riding the psychotic camel himself. He did and the second he was on it, they shot off into the distance, stopping once or twice so the camel could bellow some more. I don’t know if the driver was riding off that fast on purpose to show off how easy it was or if the camel was doing it because it was clearly possessed by some demon.
Demon camel stopping for a honk before continuing its mad rush into the distance
They were out of sight for about ten minutes, before we saw them again. When we did, the driver was walking next to the camel, not riding on top of it. The camel was foaming at the mouth, drooling a disgusting looking and smelling foamy slime that was all over the driver as well. When they rejoined our group he just said, “Impossible to ride.” That was the end of the discussion.
After that I was allowed to walk mostly in peace, although the drivers were still very concerned that I was not given the opportunity to fully enjoy the camel experience. They had to be some of the least observant people ever, since I was not doing a good job of hiding my relief at no longer having a ride.
Once we arrived at camp, the drivers did insist on finding me a tent, but convincing them that I’d rather sleep in the open under the stars proved much easier than convincing them to not put me on a camel, perhaps because none of them slept in a tent either. It was a beautiful clear night as well and, along with the sunrise the next morning, more than made up for the camel ordeal.
Another great post. Mrs. C. and I are considering a trip to India next year, and the tour we’re considering has a camel ride through the desert in Rajasthan, something I’ve been looking forward to if there’s a camel out there who’s back won’t be broken by a chubby chatterbox. I’ll be sure that Mrs. C. doesn’t read your post. She’s told me she doesn’t want to ride a camel.
Well, to be fair, most everyone else seemed to really be enjoying themselves on their camels. Just make sure you get an adult. Apparently the juveniles can be a little headstrong and dangerous. I wish they’d mentioned that before encouraging me so strongly to sit on one.
Daniel:
Your blog is so good that you really should have a much bigger following. I suggest you check out Dude Write. You can catch the link on the Chubby Chatterbox side bar. I’m a new participant and I’m really enjoying the new members and the feedback I’m getting. Give them a look and see what you think. I realize not every blogger is driven by a desire for more members, but you might also consider an easier way for people to join your site.
Thank you. As you know I’m still figuring out a lot of this stuff, so I always welcome any suggestions. I gave Dude Write a quick look and it seems promising, but it was also very apparent I would need to spend some time reading through the rules and a few of the participants’ entries to get a better feel for what it’s all about.
I’m guessing the wild camel wasn’t the one in the first photo, haha. That one looks so sweet and docile. I haven’t ever ridden a camel, but if I ever do I’ll be sure to look out for the ‘signs of a demon possessed camel’. 😀
No, that one was much nicer. The lunatic camel is the one in the third photo. And it managed to squeeze its neck into the background of the second.
I actually drew up a list of identifiers for camels we should not be riding if you’re interested:
1. It has either one or two humps
2. It has four legs.
All other camels are probably safe. With the obvious exception of three-humped or three-legged mutant camels.
I feel your pain about riding animals, despite it looking fun sometimes, the spread legs thing just isn’t so comfortable. Looks like that camel needed some discipline!
Discipline or an exorcism…
I am with you on riding animals. I’ve only ever ridden horses and generally that’s ended up being awful. I will do it again in Mongolia, though, but only to pretend I’m a fictional character in a fantasy book.
Sounds like a good enough reason, as long as you don’t end up being the throwaway character who gets trampled by a horse in the first chapter.
That was hilarious!! Love your sense of adventure sleeping under the stars! I did it along the banks of the Ganges in India and it was amazing! Belle
I got seasick riding a camel in Morocco. That pretty much destroyed any illusion of a romantic ride through the desert quickly.
Not too many people can say they’ve gotten seasick in a desert.
Haha. Sounds like a ‘once in a lifetime’ experience 🙂
I sure hope so.
“That barrel was empty, however, so they reached into the adjacent barrel of camels completely unsuited for riding and destined for a future as dog food and glue.”
Oh man this post really cracked me up. I imagine riding a camel is much worse than a horse.
Was the desert cold at night sleeping outside? Or were you in a sleeping bag? Or did you do it Man Vs. Wild style and slept in a camel carcass?
The camel carcass sleeping bag might not have been such a bad idea, considering the camel they stuck me with. Of course it probably would have backfired and the camel would have ended up sleeping in my carcass.
Thankfully I didn’t have to resort to such measures, since they provided us with sleeping bags and tents, although I didn’t use the latter. It was chilly, but not too cold. I was comfortable in the sleeping bag and actually slept pretty well. The sand was softer and more comfortable than pretty much every hotel bed I had in India.
Well I have had an opportunity to ride a horse and a camel. Fortunately, in both instances, they were pretty sane. You came out alive, that is all is important. 😀
I did come out alive and I learned my lesson: no more transportation methods with a pulse for me…